All too often, couples who have been married for perhaps what they perceive to be a very long time, but in reality may be only a few years, or it could even be as long as a few decades, start to experience boredom. Perhaps one partner rediscovers a past love, or maybe they’re just bored with the predictability of their present circumstances, and the prospect of someone new and exciting in their life becomes a beckoning temptation. They think about it and think about it, until what they first thought of as just an innocent fantasy becomes an obsession that if not halted may progress from a dreamy fantasy to a very difficult and complicated situation.

If such a fantasy should ever begin to tug at the edges of your thoughts, stamp it out! Instead of dwelling on some romanticized version of how you think things could be, remember how you felt when you first gave your heart to your partner. Think about how you felt when you walked down the aisle and spoke your vows. Think about the life you’ve had together, the many memories you’ve shared, the life you’ve built. Before you permit a fantasy to pull you down into a whirlpool of false emotions, think about it. Do you really want to sacrifice your marriage or partnership for a few fleeting moments of stolen passion? The grass isn’t really greener on the other side of the fence; sometimes, it just looks that way.

Instead of dwelling on finding new excitement, why not give some thought to bringing new excitement into your present relationship? How about dating your spouse or partner again? Dress up and go someplace special. Really look at the person you haven’t really looked at in a long time. Smile. Give the gifts of laughter, caring, thoughtfulness, and shared enjoyment. Make new memories as you rediscover the very things that brought you together in the first place.   You will ultimately realize that the lost love you’ve been seeking was right there by your side all along.